The holiday season is almost upon us, and that means travelling across country and continent to meet up with loved ones. Often, instead of booking local accommodation at a hotel or B&B, we’re shown generous hospitality, and welcomed into their home. So how can you be the perfect houseguest, and what is the appropriate etiquette?
In this article, we’ll outline the various do’s and don’ts of staying in someone’s home, as well as sharing a few ideas that might come in handy if you’re the one hosting over the holidays.
What does it mean to “make yourself at home”?
This is a common phrase used to welcome a house guest. You’ve probably heard this many times! The aim is to put you at ease, but it’s important to understand what this means.
Your host is effectively saying “relax, be comfortable and informal”, but the invitation does not extend to treating their home as if it was literally your own. There’s still an expectation to treat the home with respect and courtesy. This leads us nicely into a list of do’s and don’ts to help you to understand exactly how to “make yourself at home”.
The “Do”s
1. Do bring a gift for your host
A good houseguest will not turn up empty handed. Consider whether this should take the form of an edible gift, or something more keepsake, such as a candle or houseplant. Be thoughtful to your host, and choose something that is appropriate to their own taste.
2. Set a day and time, and stick to it.
Understand when you are expected to arrive, and make sure that you arrive on time. If you become aware of delays, let your host know well in advance, so that they are not inconvenienced.
3. Send all dietary requirements ahead of time.
If you have certain allergies, intolerances or dietary preferences, these need to be sent to your host ahead of time, so that they can make the appropriate adjustments to meal preparation. If you’re travelling alone, it may be necessary to advise what medication is taken, and what should be done in the event of an emergency.
4. Make sure you understand morning and evening routines.
Ask your host when they wake up in the morning and what time they usually go to bed. It would be improper or rude to wake up before your host, disturbing their sleep, or to stay up past their bedtime, and make solitary use of their home. Observing these routines may change, depending on the host and your relationship with them, however it’s important to ask these questions to avoid irritating your host.
5. Clean up after yourself.
A good houseguest will look for opportunities to help with household chores, or at the very least, to clean up after themselves. This may be relevant at mealtimes, when using the bathroom, or when preparing to leave at the end of your stay. Avoid creating additional work for your host!
6. Respect their boundaries.
There may be certain house rules that you’re asked to observe, such as where you might eat, where you can sit during free time, and which rooms you are allowed to enter. It could be that they advise you of certain rules regarding their pet, such as where it is allowed to sit, what it eats and how it must be treated during your stay. A good houseguest will do their best to use common sense, as well as listening attentively when these rules are explained
7. Understand the itinerary, and dress accordingly.
If your host has activities planned over the course of your stay, make sure to follow the dress code. Pack the appropriate clothing and footwear needed. By being prepared, you avoid becoming an imposition by being unable to participate or having to borrow items from your host.
Hopefully, that gives you a good idea of how you should behave as a houseguest. Of course, there are a few things that you really should avoid.
The “Don’t”s
1. Don’t invite yourself.
Some hosts are quite happy to offer up their home, and you may have had an open invitation to stay on your last visit, but the general rule is this- do not invite yourself.
2. Do not help yourself.
I refer back to the “make yourself at home” principle mentioned earlier. Your host wants you to feel comfortable in their home, but do not freely access their supplies, whether that is food, clothes or alcohol.
3. Don’t be excessive.
In this context, I refer to overeating and over drinking, unless you are invited directly to partake in these activities. Your host does not want to be responsible for you in an inebriated state, or if you become unwell as a result of overeating. Know your limits and do not exceed what has been provided.
4. Do not rummage through personal belongings.
This might be the books on the shelf, photographs on display or items hidden away in drawers, under beds or in locked rooms/cupboards. Show respect for their privacy and keep your hands to yourself!
5. Avoid being too loud or boisterous.
Your host likely has neighbours who do not wish to be disturbed by loud or explosive noises. Be considerate of your volume, whether you are speaking, singing or playing music. It is generally expected that any loud noise should cease after 11pm.
6. Do not overstay your welcome.
You and your host have already agreed on the duration of your stay. Do not extend your stay at short notice or stay longer than expected. Your host will not wish to appear rude, so avoid the friction by leaving on time. Don’t forget to send a thank-you letter to your host.
Hopefully, these tips have given you some ideas on how to conduct yourself as the perfect houseguest. If you’re hosting over the holiday season, you might wish to determine these rules yourself and share them with your guests.
Are you looking for some more guidance on appropriate etiquette over the holiday season? Get in touch or see our upcoming blog content on other seasonal topics. I hope you have a pleasant time with friends and family. Good luck!